Howdy y’all! Hope you’ve been champing at the bit to read my ramblings, I’ve got a whole 1,500+ words for you to sink your teeth into.

On Monday morning, Jeffery and I went to get our marriage license at city hall, and it was an unexpectedly really a nice thing? I’m so used to tapping my feet and huffing and puffing with impatience inside government buildings that I was pleasantly surprised by what an easy and charming experience it was.

The office of the city clerk is a bright spot amid the DMVs and passport offices—there’s a slew of people with their families getting married or getting their marriage licenses, and the air is buzzing with genuine happiness. Even the security guard loled when he pulled pepper spray out of my purse and was like um? You can’t bring this in? And I was all: whoopsie I’m just a girl who sometimes takes the train at night! He let me take it back on my way out, though, which was nice.

There’s even a gift shop! And a step and repeat with bright ass lights for people to take photos. If I could, I would honestly love to spend a day there and just people watch. So many fun outfits and background stories to make up for strangers.

On My Brain

Farmer Wants a Wife… and I Want a Farm

As someone who was deeply into The Bachelor for several years but fell off when things got weird with Chris Harrison and how low key Christian the whole franchise was… let me put you on. Farmer Wants a Wife doesn’t pretend to not have Christian roots and traditional family values (it does air on Fox, after all), and for some reason that makes it simpler to digest. The premise: Four farmers are each looking for a wife who will move to their farm and live out their bucolic dreams. The men each bring about six women home to their farms and over the course of a few weeks (I presume), they whittle them down, bachelor-style, until they hopefully find a life partner.

I can only speak for the third, current season, but I’m sure I’ll end up watching the first two at some point. There’s plenty of stall-mucking, thinly veiled misogyny (of the regular and internalized variety), Revolve crop tops, shiny new Tecovas, hay bales as furniture, full beats, and cringey conversations. A standout (for all the wrong reasons) is Samantha, whose eyes are so big I actually thought they put a Snapchat filter on her face. Now that I’ve been interacting with FWAW content on TikTok, a grocery haul of hers popped up in which she describes her “animal-based” diet. What does this diet entail, you ask? “High-quality meat,” organs, fruit, honey, raw dairy, and eggs. So like, keto or paleo in a fresh new package for a new crop of disordered eaters. They’ve cut vegetables out, though, because I guess vegetables make you fat or something? Who knows.

But I digress. This is a great, anthropological watch. It makes me think about life’s big questions, like: Do I want to be a man’s chattel? No. But do I really, really yearn for a big ol’ farm with a million animals and a garden to grow my own food? Yes. Highly recommend watching on Hulu. 

New Emily Henry Alert!

I’m a simple girl. Emily Henry writes a new book? I buy it. The speed at which I slurp her not-cheesy but perfectly true-to-the-genre books should be studied. I particularly like how this one divides the narrative into the main characters and a retelling of an older character, sort of The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo style.

My only critique, which can be applied to many modern authors FWIW, is that she can’t seem to break out of the tortured writer character. I get it—writers know how to write about writers. But as a writer, I’m truly so fatigued by the high-powered, boss babe, city girl writer character. PLS. I’m begging everyone (and I’m looking at you too, Sally Rooney), to do a little bit of research and give their main characters another occupation. Idk, nurse? Architect? Project manager? Ceramicist? Human resources professional? Anything, really.

I haven’t finished it yet (read: gotten to the rising action/climax s*x scene), but so far, I’m giving Miss Henry another round of applause. She just knows what the girls want.

In My Cart

A White Skirt for Summer

Last summer I regretted that I didn’t prioritize finding a white skirt, thinking maybe it was a bit of a passing trend. But now that it’s warming up and I’ve broken out my trusty Old Navy linen pants, I have decided that I do, in fact, need a white skirt for this summer. The frontrunner in my search so far: this tiered one from Free People, because they basically invented white maxi skirts. I think I might also want to invest in a mini version of a similar skirt, but that’s a search for another day.

A Light Wash Denim Jacket

I was contemplating what sort of throw-it-on jacket I wanted for summer and realized that I don’t currently have a denim jacket, so I took to Poshmark, of course. I quickly decided I didn’t want a medium wash one (idk it just felt farty for some reason?), so I got this vintage light wash Levi’s jacket and it’ll hopefully be properly oversized and worn in.

In My Belly

Feta, Grilled Corn, and Avocado Salad

My mouth watered when I saw a photo of this salad, and while mine didn’t look nearly as bright or beautiful, it still tasted really good. Some modifications I made/would make to the recipe: I used Greek yogurt instead of buttermilk because it’s easier on my belly, I would chop the charred scallions into smaller pieces because the stringy texture of big chunks wasn’t my fave, I’d add something crunchy like fried shallots or crumbled tortilla chips, and I’d add more feta and probably dill to the dressing to make it even cheesier and ranch-adjacent.

Twice-this-Week Rice Krispies Treats

Hell yeah, brother. I’m not sure how I decided to add sweetened condensed milk to a batch of rice krispies treats (yes, rice krispies is plural in the name of the dessert), but I’m so glad I did. It prevents the rice krispies treats from getting rock hard as they cool, which I’ve noticed is always an issue with homemade ones, and they stay perfectly chewy for days. It also adds another, deeper layer of dairy flavor along with the browned butter which I llllllurv. You’ll have a lot of leftover sweetened condensed milk, but I’d highly recommend putting the rest in the fridge and adding it to your coffee. Or make tres leches or something, idk!

• 8 tbsp salted butter (you can opt for unsalted, but I like this level of salt)

• 2 tbsp sweetened condensed milk

• ¾ of a 12 oz bag of mini marshmallows

• 4.5 cups rice krispies cereal

• Kosher or flaky salt to sprinkle on top if you prefer (if using salted butter you won’t need it)

1. Line a quarter baking sheet with parchment, and cut another piece that’ll come in handy for pressing it evenly into the pan.

2. Brown the butter on medium heat until it smells nutty and the milk solids are a rich, golden brown. It’ll foam and sputter a bit, but stir it consistently to prevent it from burning and to check on the color. If it does burn, start over—that taste will not be pleasant.

3. Add the sweetened condensed milk to the butter and stir to combine.

4. Remove from the heat and add the marshmallows in 2-3 batches, stirring vigorously and putting it back on the heat if necessary.

5. Pour the rice krispies in and mix just until combined.

6. Spread the mixture into the lined pan and use the other sheet of parchment to press it evenly into the corners and sides of the pan. Let cool for at least 15 minutes, then cut and eat!

I store these in a Ziploc bag and so far, they haven’t lasted more than three days before we eat them all, but I’m confident they’d remain fresh for at least five days.

Springy Zucchini Ricotta Pasta

Wherever this recipe came to me, be it a NYT Cooking newsletter or in my Instagram feed, I immediately bookmarked it. Zucchini is famously (in my house) one of my favorite vegetables, so really any new zucc application is an easy yes for me. Next time, I’d sear the zucchini in a cast iron skillet to get some nice color on them, but otherwise, this was a really solid (and easy) weeknighter.

You Ask, I Answer

Q: What would be a good surprise party theme for my cousins 40th birthday?

A: Oooooh this is a tricky one! I don’t know anything about your cousin but I’d definitely start with listing their interests and seeing if that sparks any ideas. For example, if someone were planning a party for me they might list: RHONY, old junk/vintage/estate sales, dogs or animals in general, Applebees, and John Mayer.

Some general themes I think would be really fun to do, even if they might not be totally right for your cousin: everyone dressing like a different famous person with the same first name as the guest of honor, a party where everyone has to bring a different dip (lol), can’t go wrong with a Powerpoint party, I personally very much enjoyed my bday roast (of meat and of me), or a tea party??? Idk I hope that helped for idea starters at the very least.

Need a gift suggestion for your mother-in-law’s birthday? Stuck on how to rearrange the furniture in your living room? Want to know what to do with a jar of marinated artichokes? Come to mama. Hit me up with your questions, and I'll answer them in an upcoming letter.