Guys… I’m gonna hold your hand when I say this… Tr*mp got sh*t.

And with that, here’s what else is cracking:

On My Brain

Souvenirs Are Overrated

Lemme ask you something: Do we need to bring random airport tchotchkes back for every Tom, Dick, and Harry just because we feel compelled not to show up empty handed? I have the same approach here as I do with any gift giving, and it’s that gifts are not worth giving unless they’re truly thoughtful or useful. If it’s something that’s likely to collect dust or fill the person with guilt when it eventually ends up in the trash, think twice. Same goes for souvenirs—I’m only bringing stuff home that instantly speaks to a person in my life.

They can also be really small, simple things that just remind you of someone. My friend Alex loves little condiments, so I squirreled away every jam and spread I could find for him while in Italy. My friend Rachel loves miniatures, so I couldn’t resist getting her a tiny squeeze bottle in Tokyo and an itty bitty spoon in Lisbon. But while in Disney last year, I thought, do my parents really need another fridge magnet from here? No, not really. So let me release you from the compulsory souvenir guilt: Save your $ for when you find something really special, it’s worth it.

Does Love Island USA Have an Unlimited Music Budget?

It’s come to my attention—by religiously tuning in—that Love Island USA must have a LOT of money to blow. The first episode of this season alone featured Chappell Roan’s “Hot to Go,” Sabrina Carpenter’s “Espresso,” and Charli XCX’s “Von Dutch”—all songs I would imagine cost a pretty penny in royalties. Fellow Redditors agree, and according to those watching this UK season (I will catch up at a later date, needed to see what the USA hype was all about), jolly ol’ England & co are suffering in the playlist department. UK is giving AI music while USA has the entire Billboard chart queued up, and any insight into the soundtrack disparity would be greatly appreciated. 

In My Cart

A Really Good Striped Tote

I don’t need a new tote bag (because I, like most people, have 184 tote bags), but if I did (sigh) I would be purchasing this one. I’m on a stripe kick and I’m definitely on a pop-of-red kick, and this one checks both boxes. I also love the thin straps and wide opening, I really feel like I could stuff this thing full of all my beach or pool crap and never run out of room. It’s giving the $31 cotton version of a Neverfull, you know? I think I need a new tote bag :/

The Best Housewarming Gift Ever

You’re the first to find out: I’m sending custom matchbooks out as part of our save the dates. And while that’s soooo quirky and original of me, I also think that these make a fabulous gift, especially for a housewarming. For Your Party has a ton of customizable templates, so you can add a friend’s street, last name, or a bunch of little illustrations, too. Bonus points if you thrift a bowl or tray for them to display the matchbooks in.

My Favorite Conditioner

I go back and forth and change haircare all the time (lately I’ve been loving the Ouai detox shampoo and thick hair conditioner for my often-in-contact-with-chlorine hair), but one thing always remains the same: The Davines Love Smoothing Conditioner hits different. You know it’s good stuff because it comes in a tub as opposed to a squeeze bottle, which means it’s so thick you have to scoop it out with your hand. It’s marketed toward “frizzy and coarse hair” but I really think that anyone who needs a deep conditioner or is prone to humidity frizz in the summer would benefit from adding this to your rotation. Plus, it smells unreal. I will never not love you, Davines Love Smoothing Conditioner <3.

In My Belly

Oishii Strawberries 

I hate to admit these vertically-farmed, hydroponic, very expensive Oishii (which means delicious in Japanese) strawberries have me in a chokehold. I said I wouldn’t buy them again but I did, okay? They were at the farmer’s market and I’m just a sucker for beautiful branding and ripe fruit. 

I first came upon them in Whole Foods and couldn’t resist the temptation to do a side-by-side taste test of the Koyo berries and regular degular Driscoll’s strawberries, and no sooner did we arrive at the conclusion that they’re a fun treat but not reaaaaally worth it was I tapping my phone to Apple pay for more. The long and short: worth a splurge for fun and for science. 

Pickle-y Chicken Salad 

Arguably the best part about roasting a whole chicken is making chicken salad with the leftovers. And that’s right, the secret ingredient is pickles. Sure, you might put pickles on the sandwich, but I’m more likely to eat chicken salad scooped from the bowl with potato chips, so I want a piece of pickle in every bite. I simplified my usual chicken salad recipe and ended up liking this version a lot more, because it really lets the chicken be the star of the show. Here’s my current favorite list of ingredients: 

• Finely shredded chicken (I like to really get in there with a fork or my fingers to get it into tiny pieces, because, again, I am a meat texture freak)

• Minced celery (I’m not a celery girl but I don’t feel chicken salad is complete without it)

• Minced & rinsed red onion or shallot (rinsing it in cold water takes some of the bite out) 

• Minced kosher dill pickles, and a lot of them (so perfectly acidic, crunchy, and bright) 

• Fresh parsley, roughly chopped (would have used dill too, if I had it) 

• Chopped walnuts 

• Plenty of mayo (Hellman’s only, pls) 

• Lemon juice  

• Pickle brine 

• Salt & fresh cracked pepper 

And here’s what I usually add that I eliminated this time: 

• Dijon (idk I wasn’t feeling it this time… and I preferred it without)

• Dried cranberries (I usually like a sweet and salty chicken salad but the ones I got from Whole Foods are too sweet and not tangy enough, so they overpower the whole thing)

Apology Peach Cobbler 

If you follow me on Instagram (which I know you do, because my newsletter metrics tell me that 99% of you came from an Instagram referral link), you may have seen that I made peach cobbler last week for one of the girls that works at the front desk of my building. It was an apology cobbler, because I honked at an Uber to get out of the way in the driveway of our building only to see my girl pop out of the backseat. Of course, I apologized profusely, I knew I owed her a baked good for good measure. 

I’ll be honest, I loosely followed this Half Baked Harvest recipe because it was among the first search results… but as a general rule I don’t love her stuff anymore because her recipes are confusingly written and often need tweaking, her varied other controversies not withstanding. Anyway, here are some edits I made: 

• More cinnamon (like ½ a tsp) in the batter because I can never get enough cinnamon 

• A squeeze of lemon juice over the peaches to bring out their flavor 

• ½ cup more flour—I felt the batter was too runny and I also wanted to balance the addition of lemon juice 

• I covered the top with foil in the last 15 mins of baking because the top started browning more than I’d like 

You Ask, I Answer

Q: “Can I request TJ’s snack recs? (As a new Trader Joe’s shopper)” 

A: Yes, girl. This is my Olympics. Now, I personally find Trader Joe’s to be lacking in the classic American snack zone, so if I’m craving tortilla or potato chips, I’m gonna go for Tostitos and Lays. However, T Joe’s does have a variety of snack-ish gems I lunge for every time, below: 

• Strawberry Mochi: Chewy, sweet, perfect

• Many Things Snack Mix: I like to tip the bag back right into my mouth in place of lunch sometimes, if I’m being real

• Sublime Ice Cream Sandwiches: Literally the best ice cream sandwiches ever

• Milk Chocolate Covered Pretzels: A handful of these are an ideal lilsomethingsweet after dinner

• Apple Banana Squeezies: I actually couldn’t survive without these I have one on my person every time I leave the house in case of sudden hanger

• Mini Greek Yogurts: I’m partial to the strawberry, blueberry, and pumpkin (which is only avail in the fall)

Need a gift suggestion for your mother-in-law’s birthday? Stuck on how to rearrange the furniture in your living room? Want to know what to do with a jar of marinated artichokes? Come to mama. Hit me up with your questions, and I'll answer them in an upcoming letter.