The horrors are persisting in such a way that I think I might need to turn off news notifications for a minute, but I’m still tip tapping out my little newsletter and planning a wedding and making dinners and hanging out with my friends… and that’s all very nice and good.

On My Brain

Timmy on SNL

That little boy is going to be in the five timers club before we know it. He’s just so good at being goofy and letting it rip. My favorite sketch was certainly the bungee jumping exercise class, which I of course saw on TikTok before I even sat down to watch the full episode Sunday morning (sigh). Apparently people are pissed about the Jimmy Carter joke, which I think is… silly. And speaking of silly, this episode really makes me want to see him in some more silly, less serious roles. His Bob Dylan performances didn’t really do much for me, but you know what? Go off.

Watch What Crappens

I can’t believe I haven’t been listening to this podcast for the 13 (!) years it’s been on. Just a few weeks ago I was doing my usual “RHOSLC reddit,” “Brynn reddit,” “Bronwyn dogs reddit,” searching while watching and I was craving MORE Bravo commentary. Somehow around the same time I saw a clip from Watch What Crappens and started listening… and my god, I love these two.

It’s intimidating to jump into a podcast with so much history (there’s literally 2,706 episodes on Apple Podcasts and counting), especially when they’re talky, giggly ones that probably have established inside jokes I’m not privy to. But let me tell you: I’m obsessed.

Ronny & Ben do fantastic impressions of the various housewives and Bravolebs (my favorites are Meredith Marks and Gary from Below Deck Sailing Yacht), and I generally agree with everything they say. Instead of just talking about each episode, they fully recap the entire thing, which means episodes are delightfully long and they don’t miss a friggin’ detail (catnip to me). I’ve been listening nonstop as I watch old seasons of Below Deck and the current seasons of RHONY, RHOSLC, and Below Deck Sailing Yacht—so much so that I’ve fallen asleep giggling along several nights.

Babyratu

I’m on a movie streak (thanks almost entirely to my friend Maura who suggests screenings, buys tickets, Venmo requests me, and then adds it to my Google cal). Last Tuesday we saw Nosferatu, and last night we saw Babygirl (…Babyratu), and boy do I just love being culturally up to date. If it were just me, I probably would wait for most movies to hit a streaming service, but thanks to Maura, I remain tapped into the zeitgeist.

Re: Nosferatu, um… it was good? Yes, it was good. I think it could have been at least 30 minutes shorter, and the Alamo theater in FiDi could have turned the volume down a similar 30%, but all in all, I enjoyed the level of gore and number of jump scares. It’s not often a horror movie actually gets me to duck behind my hands anymore (not a brag, more of a complaint about my alarming numbness), but the biting off a pigeon’s head really made me squeal. Loved Miss Lily Rose Depp’s performance (idk why she has so many haters, she’s quite good), I’m having a blast on TikTok with all the Nosferatu content, and my Count Orlok impression is getting better by the day.

Re: Babygirl, um… that was something? We giggled (negative) through the entire thing and found it hard to stay present… so much so that I was even scolded (in the literal last five minutes of the movie) by a nerd behind me to put my phone down as it was “rude and distracting.” Little did HE KNOW I was taking notes to bring back to you all?? So who’s rude now? Anyway, the lack of chemistry between Nicole Kidman and Harris Dickinson was criminal, and I’m really not sure what we were supposed to take from this film. That women can be kinky? That power dynamics exist? That Nicole Kidman needs to fire her plastic surgeon and wig stylist? Idk, but the best part, for me, was George Michael’s “Father Figure” on the surround sound. Scratch that, the best part was Antonio Banderas, who I’ve had a crush on since he was the dad in Spy Kids. Wait till it comes to streaming, friends.

In My Cart

A Bathing Suit for Mexicooooo

Girl, I’m going to Mexico for my bachelorette in April, so I neeeeeeed a new bathing suit. I got my other Hunza G bathing suit from Poshmark (duh) but I was doing some digging around, and the striped one I want is actually 50% off with an extra 15% off on Net a Porter rn! A deal so good on a notoriously pricey swimsuit that I feel I must clarify again that nothing on here is sponsored, lol. But if you get one too we can match! How fun would that be?

It’s About Time for My Yearly Birkenstock Purchase

Every year around March I start itching for a new pair of Birkenstocks, and this year the itch has come early due to the aforementioned Mexico trip. Last year I got a silver pair, and this year I’m thinking I need (want) an oxblood/burgundy/maroon (whichever you fancy) pair. I like the slightly different buckles on these compared to the regular Arizonas, as well as the matching leather soles. Oh, they’re also on sale right now!

In My Belly

Spicy Chicken Piccata with Artichoke Hearts

Chicken piccata is one of my ol’ reliables. It’s protein, it’s pasta… it’s lemony and capery and garlicky. And best of awl, it comes together in like 25 minutes. I’ve absentmindedly adapted this recipe from Bon Appétit until I eventually got to my own method, which now includes marinated artichoke hearts (because they’re the best) and Calabrian chilis (I actually prefer the Trader Joe’s Italian “bomba” sauce). It is as follows:

• 2 large chicken breasts

• A handful of flour

• Olive or avocado oil

• ½ pound of spaghetti (or linguine, bucatini, etc.)

• 1 lemon thinly sliced, and the juice another half

• 4–5 cloves garlic, thinly sliced

• 1 large or 2 small shallots, minced

• 1–2 tsp Calabrian chilis, depending on the brand and your spice preference

• 1/3 cup dry white wine

• 2 tbsp capers, drained

• 1 jar of marinated artichokes, drained

• 3 tbsp salted butter

• Fresh parsley for serving

1. Put a pot of well-salted water on to boil.

2. Thinly slice the breasts into cutlets and pound them out as flat as you can. Season generously with salt and pepper, and dredge in flour.

3. Heat olive or avocado oil over in a skillet over medium-high heat, and pan fry all of the cutlets, working in batches until they’re all nicely browned and cooked through.

4. Add spaghetti to the pot of boiling water and cook just before al dente. Reserve ½ cup of pasta water for the sauce.

5. Turn the heat down to medium, and deglaze the pan with the lemon slices, swirling them around in the fond until they’re browned and all the bits have been lifted.

6. Add the garlic, shallots, and Calabrian chilis, season with salt and pepper and cook until the shallots are translucent and the garlic has softened and started to brown.

7. Deglaze again with the white wine, and let simmer for 1-2 minutes. Add the capers, artichokes, and lemon juice.

8. Add the butter tablespoon by tablespoon, stirring to emulsify as it melts.

9. Add the pasta and reserved pasta water, starting with ¼ cup and adding more if necessary, until pasta is cooked through and the sauce is thickened and glossy.

10. Put chicken back in the pan to warm through, and serve with fresh parsley and more lemon juice.

You Ask, I Answer

Q: “Hey Caroline! We rent a 2 floor brownstone apartment we love, but it has three used-to-be fireplace indents with no mantels. So, there's no shelf on the top, just marble-filled indentations, and they're pretty big. The living room one is 4ft tall, 1ft deep, 3 ft wide. I'm trying to think of ways I could decorate these nooks that wont look like a random storage collection. Books? Plants? Art on the floor? Google's not giving me much confidence. Thanks in advance on any ideas!”

A: Okay I have two thoughts: 1. Build out a faux mantel situation and lean into the defunct fireplace vibe (because it is a vibe) or 2. Use these spaces for aesthetically pleasing storage.

For the mantel sitch, it can be as simple as just putting a shelf above the alcove to signify that it is, indeed, a fireplace. You can also buy vintage or new fireplace mantels, if that’s up your alley (I have, in fact, seen people do this). From there, you can add an electric fireplace insert if you’re craving the full effect, or do one of the classic non-functional fireplace decor moments, like filling it with stacks of books, a million pillar candles, or yes, leaning pieces of large art! Or, you can put a fireplace screen in front of it and stash clutter behind it :). Some inspo pics below:

As far as storage is concerned, my knee jerk idea would be to build shelves that are the exact width and depth of the alcove, creating a little custom built-in moment. Alternatively, you could hunt down a little dresser or bookshelf that fits inside the nook, which would fill up the weird void and add more storage. More inspo pics below:

FWIW, I would probably end up doing a combo of all these ideas—maybe a different one in every room. I hope this helps!!

Need a gift suggestion for your mother-in-law’s birthday? Stuck on how to rearrange the furniture in your living room? Want to know what to do with a jar of marinated artichokes? Come to mama. Hit me up with your questions, and I'll answer them in an upcoming letter.