Happy Wednesday! A reminder in case you’ve based your perception of weekdays around the delivery of my newsletter (stop, you shouldn’t have) that today, is in fact, Wednesday and not Tuesday.

We’re inching closer and closer to the election and it’s making me feel equal parts woozy and on edge, so I’m also equal parts tapped in and avoiding the topic altogether. Life is about balance <3.

If you’re wondering what we purchased at Costco this week, let me fill you in: a giant box of Goldfish (I’m on a Goldfish kick), a palette of Gatorade because my thirst cannot be quenched, these little pumpkin pie yogurts that truly taste like dessert, a big honking bottle of avocado oil, and a gift for my dad (more on that below).

On My Brain

City Problems Are… Kinda Your Own Problem

I say this with a big, fat grain of salt, because I love to complain about problems in Jersey and New York City. For example: MTA? Get your shit together. The lack of air circulation in the Oculus and the weird, rotating cast of retail stores? I have some words. The Holland tunnel closing every night at 11pm? You’re killing me.

But there are certain things that come along with living in a city, and people who complain about these unavoidable quirks are… confusing to me, to put it gently. Just last night, there was a significant line for the elevator in my building. One of the elevators was down, and another was being used to take the trash out, so things were much more backed up than usual. Some dude in a bucket hat with a giant Ralph Lauren bag—instead of just, I don’t know, being a normal amount of annoyed—was skulking around and making vague threats that he would be “posting this on social media.” Like… okay sir? What is posting on X about an elevator being down in your high rise going to do? I guarantee you it will be fixed within 48 hours, and no offense, no one cares.

Same goes for an occasional missing package, loud fire engine sirens, or cooking smells in the hallway… it’s just part of living in a city. We’ve gotta be more resilient than this!

I’m Trying to Keep It Casual with a Halloween Party… And Failing

Two things that don’t go together: casual, and me throwing a party. The only time I can successfully entertain without putting an inordinate amount of pressure on myself is if people come over unexpectedly. These are some of my favorite times, in fact, because I get to offer them the last, lonely Spindrift in the fridge or cobble together a snack from various jars in the pantry, and I delight in still making it special.

It’s the parties I have plenty of notice for that cause me to spin out. Halloween, for example, is on a Thursday this year. Multiple friends are unavailable for the surrounding weekend dates, so I offered to have a chill scary movie hang on Halloween night. It can’t just be that, though. In the time since I committed to having a Halloween function, I made a custom Partiful invite, cut out 30+ vintage illustrations for a garland, gone thrifting for more spooky decor, added a bunch of cobwebby fabrics to my Amazon cart, and have been toying with the idea of a culinary theme for the evening. Not to mention, I’m still working out what kind of activity I can pull together, because I love an activity. Usually, I fall back on trivia (my fave) but I’m trying not to torture people with my esoteric areas of interest again this year. Sadly, there’s only so many times I can turn my fascination with Scientology into a game.

All this to say, it’s nearly impossible for me not to go overboard with planning and decor for parties (even if it’s just a weeknight gathering), and it’s something I’m working on. But if you do have any good Halloween game/activity suggestions… lmk.

In My Cart

A Delightfully Herby Candle from H&M Home

I have written about this candle, I have posted about this candle, but I’m going to put it in the newsletter just for good measure in case you haven’t heard about it from me yet. The “Green Basilicum” line of candles from H&M (they keep changing up vessels but keeping the scent, which I am okay with) smells far more expensive than it actually is. It gives Loewe or Malin + Goetz tomato candle, but it only costs about $5 per 3oz. Sure, the fragrance doesn’t throw as far as the more expensive ones, but whenever I have it lit (or just open on the table) I always get compliments on how the apartment smells like fresh basil and tomato vines.

For the Person Who Has Everything: A Lego Set

My dad is notorious (among our family at least) for being difficult to buy for. His hobbies are expensive (3D printers, computerized routers, his Dodge Challenger) and he’s likely purchased what he’s been wanting already, anyway. So it’s rare that I come across something I think he’ll really like, but luckily this year, his birthday gift was obvious.

He just had surgery on his eye for a detached retina, so he’s been largely out of commission for the past few weeks when it comes to the tinkering and fixing he usually does in his spare time. What better way to ease back in than with a Lego Mona Lisa set? With 1,503 pieces, I hoped it would be both a slight challenge and an easily finished project, and I was right—he loved it. It’s currently 15% off at Costco compared to the Lego site, so if you have a membership and need a gift for someone ungiftable, I suggest you get your butt over there.

In My Belly

Sorry I’ve been a lazy, no good, very bad loser this week and haven’t made really any dinners… recipes will return next week!

Bottled Mango Lassi FTW

A mango lassi is, to me, a sometimes treat. I’ll get one if I’m eating at an Indian restaurant and sometimes order one with takeout, but by and large, I don’t have them all that often. This past weekend Jeffery and I visited this massive Hindu temple in NJ with my parents, and there was a cafeteria I wish I could have spent 4 more hours in. It was giving IKEA cafeteria but not Swedish and also better quality, lol. Anyway!! I grabbed a bottled mango lassi and some samosas for the road and was so tickled by the portability and convenience of this drink. I can’t find this exact brand (wondering if the temple has them specially made because there’s nothing to be found on Google), but apparently you can get two 50oz jugs of another brand from Costco for $15. Hell yeah.

You Ask, I Answer

Q: “What are your favorite spots to thrift home decor/furniture besides estate sales?”

A: Great question. While of course, I have such a tenderness for estate sales, I’m also hugely into other methods of secondhand shopping as well (duh). In terms of furniture and home decor, though I have two broad answers: Thrift stores and Facebook marketplace. Let’s break it down:

Thrift Stores

Not all thrift stores are created equal, and no two are alike, and that’s the best part. There are a few national/regional chains of thrift stores I always turn to, though, because I mostly know what I’m getting into no matter where I happen to be. If I’m in the market for a piece of furniture, I’m hitting up a Habitat for Humanity Restore. These places rule, because they have tons of large furniture pieces, plenty of decor, and also lots of hardware, paint, and things as big as kitchen sinks. But pricing can vary from store to store and they’re not open on Sundays (lame).

Goodwill and Salvation Army are both pretty reliable for knick knacks, picture frames, and other pieces of small decor, but not so much furniture (though you might get lucky, who knows!). 2nd Avenue thrift stores are generally well organized and are great for small decor and all manner of books, and I’ve gotten lots of my coffee table books there. MyUnique thrift stores are my favorite for clothes, because they distribute items evenly throughout their locations, so there’s always something fresh to see, regardless of the store location. They also have smaller homewares and decor, and usually a very good selection of curtains.

There are also independent thrift stores, of course, and while they’re more hit or miss when you first visit, they can be some of the best ones. For example, there’s a church thrift store in my hometown I always make a point to stop in at, because they have a well-organized dinnerware section.

Facebook Marketplace

If you’re looking for something specific—say a set of striped armchairs—you’ve gotta make searching Facebook Marketplace your job for a few days, and eventually, the algorithm will reward you. Search for every iteration and descriptor you can think of when looking for an item, like “striped arm chairs,” “striped accent chairs,” “striped club chairs,” etc. and soon you’ll start seeing tailored results on your home page. You can save listings (which I’m constantly doing) to go back to, but if you see something perfect I’d recommend jumping on it when you see it. Offer cash and to pick something up same or next day—that’s always enticing to sellers. If I don’t want to transport a bulky piece of furniture, I’ll offer an extra $20 or so for delivery, and a lot of times it works!

Need a gift suggestion for your mother-in-law’s birthday? Stuck on how to rearrange the furniture in your living room? Want to know what to do with a jar of marinated artichokes? Come to mama. Hit me up with your questions, and I'll answer them in an upcoming letter.