What a friggin’ week. I’m 50% exhausted, 50% energized after a full week back at work, which started with a three day new-hire orientation. The vibe was very much first day of school, what with the September timing, a room full of strangers wearing nametag lanyards, and plenty of “mind if I sit here?” in the cafeteria. The best part, though, is that despite my nerves leading up, I quickly remembered that I’m a fully realized adult now, and not a highly anxious 18 year old. So instead of feeling crippled with social anxiety, I wholly enjoyed the first-day jitters and excitement of meeting new people. Also reaaaaaaally made me want to go out and buy new pens and notebooks and convince my mom I did, in fact, need a new pencil case. 

What else? We went to an estate sale that had sold all the pairs of Staffordshire dog figurines I saw on the listing by the time we got there, which was a little disappointing. I’ve been casually hunting for an antique pair of these silly little dogs for a while now, but I’m not so desperate that I’ll resort to an Etsy or Chairish purchase—I want them to find me, yanno? I’m also back on beer (Belgian whites and fruity sours, specifically), because it’s approaching fall, and my acid reflux has mercifully subsided after like, a year of avoiding beer and wine. Oh and we went on a mini bagel tour Sunday morning and I have lots of thoughts about what makes a good bagel… more on that below. 

One more thing: Do me a favor and submit a Q via the button at the end of the newsletter. If it helps, it’s anonymous, so you needn’t worry about any cringe feelings you might have about submitting a reader question to me, your social media acquaintance. Okay love you! 

On My Brain 

Am I a Neat Freak??? My Friends & Family Weigh In 

I swear I’m not gonna invoke my new job again after this… but it’s relevant to the subject matter. Since I got hired as a staff writer focused on cleaning and organizing, I’ve been thinking about how I’m perceived—do people think of me as a very clean, organized person? I have spent a good chunk of my career testing cleaning and organizing products and interviewing experts in the field, but something about being asked “Oh, so you’re like, really clean and organized?” makes you question the whole thing. So I asked my people, and here’s what they said: 

“Depends where you are.” (My dad, lol)

“I don’t think you’re a neat freak but you’re above the average level of neat because you like to have your apartment a particular way, if that makes sense.”

“You also do the classic scrub this bitch down before you have company or a party and I thought that was normal, but apparently not everyone is cleaning the baseboards before people come over, so I think you balance the freak part of being neat.”

“No. Def not when you’re here or growing up. Your apartment is very neat, but I think that’s because it has to be because it’s small.” (My mom, also lol)

“I think you’re particular but laid back—you like your apartment a certain way but not in a neat-freak way. I think of neat freaks as controlling and averse to mess or dirt but you’re very good at letting people live in your space, then putting it back together after.” 

All of this is very heartening and affirming, because that’s also how I see myself. I don’t ever want to have the kind of home that people don’t feel comfortable relaxing in. Spills and splotches and smells happen, especially when you like to host people and/or have an animal. I can’t relax in our apartment when there’s tons of stuff out of place, but I also love to be surrounded by a curated selection of stuff—you know? I always clean the bathroom and vacuum the floors before someone comes over, but I also have a habit of shoving things into cabinets and closets with reckless abandon. 

I also very much don’t abide the overconsumption part of organizing. I blame Khloe Kardashian and her insane pantry for making people think they needed new containers for all their food, when food, shockingly, actually comes in packages. I know, right?? I’m certainly not immune to these fads, but after several years of watching people fill their closets with unnecessary plastic bins, I’m even less likely to buy into a fancy organizational product. 

All this to say: I’m happy that my circle thinks I’m a normal level of neat freak. There are plenty of times when I drive even myself insane with a certain level of cleanliness expectation, but there are also plenty of times when I just want to exist at home without putting so much pressure on it. All this would be moot if we lived in a home any bigger than our one-bedroom apartment, though, because you bet your ass I’d hire a monthly cleaning service.

In My Cart 

I Did, In Fact, Find a Structured Striped Tee 

Remember two issues ago when I laid out my purchasing plan for my fall/winter wardrobe? Well I have good news: I found a really great and reasonably priced structured striped tee, and it’s from Muji. (It appears to be sold out in a lot of sizes online, but there were a ton in store.) I just went into a Muji store to have a little browse and totally blacked out with the sheer joy of all the tiny little packages of stationary, socks, kitchenware, what have you. Not to be dramatic but it was the closest you can get to the rush of shopping in Japan without being in Japan. And no, I will never stop making my entire personality about the one time I went to Japan, sorry! Anyway, this striped tee is a lovely medium weight, it’s nicely oversized (though I did still size up because Japanese brands always run small), and I like the mini split hem on both sides. 

Leah Kateb, of ‘Love Island USA’ Fame, Has Merch

The real princess of Calabasas and standout fave of this past season of ‘Love Island USA’ is getting her bag, and we LOVE her for it. Leah Kateb just dropped some very on brand merch and if I had more disposable income at the moment, I’d unfortunately have fallen prey to this tank top. It vaguely reminds me of the tank tops from O Mighty with inane phrases on them, which have also been on my maybe-I’ll-buy-one-someday list for a long time. 

In My Belly 

The Perfect Snack Doesn’t Exi-

Yeah, it does exist! And I will eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dessert over and over and over again. If the day ever comes that I get sick of it I’ll either be pregnant or DEAD. It’s very simple, and I first made it for myself at my friend Sophia’s flat (she lives in London, okay? It’s not an apartment—grow up.). I was scrounging around for a snack and put together the world’s greatest combo from the dregs of her pantry.

Here’s how it goes: Slather some Nutella on a thin rice cake (it MUST be a thin one. The full-size ones are just too much, I can’t choke them down.), and if you desire, add some crunchy peanut butter. If I’m making this for breakfast I’ll add Skippy protein peanut butter bc I’m a protein girlie these days. Plop some sliced banana on there and finish it off with a sprinkle of flaky sea salt. The sea salt is what takes this snack to another level, so trust me and try it! I have been nursing the same box of Maldon sea salt flakes (and even gave away a quarter of it) for like, 2 years, so it’s a worthwhile investment if you don’t have any. 

The Best Bagel in NYC 

Let’s get some credentials out of the way: I grew up at the Jersey shore, went to school on Long Island, and have lived in/around NYC for the better part of 7 years—I know a good bagel when I see one. Have I tried every single bagel in NY? No, don’t be ridiculous. But I have eaten a lot of bagels, and I’d like to tell you A. What makes a great bagel and B. Which ones I prefer. And just to be clear, I can hork a shitty bagel down like the rest of them, but I’ll always prefer a high-quality one over the bag of Trader Joe’s bagels languishing in the back of my freezer. 

A great bagel, to me, must have the following qualities: a fluffy, doughy interior, a chewy, crackly crust, and a generous layer of seasoning/seeds (if applicable). They should ideally be served hot, right out of the oven, but I’ll allow bagels baked within the half hour. I don’t like bagels that are so crusty or crispy that they cut up the roof of my mouth, but I also don’t like bagels that are so soft that they don’t have a decent blistery crust. Good bagels don’t need to be toasted, and in fact, should not be toasted (unless they’re day old). There are also about a thousand other things to say about cream-cheese ratio (always more as opposed to less) and egg sandwiches (pork roll remains the best), but I digress. 

My favorite bagel in New York is Ess-a-Bagel. They’re the perfect goldilocks size, almost always come out hot from the oven, and have a perfectly balanced flavor. They’re fabulous on their own with butter or cream cheese, but also make a great bagel sandwich. I used to work in Midtown East where the original location is, and on special days we’d get fresh Ess-a-Bagels. If you’re looking to avoid the line, go during lunch or before they close at 5pm. For a while I was on a scallion cream cheese, bacon, and tomato kick (thanks to Christina Tosi’s episode of ‘Chef’s Table’), but Ess-a-Bagels are perfection with just butter or cream cheese. 

Honorable bagel mentions: Tompkins Square Bagel for great bacon, egg, and cheeses, Brooklyn Bagel & Coffee Co. for a crispy bagel eaten one half at a time, New York City Bagel & Coffee House for soft, fluffy, gigantic bagel sandwiches, O’ Bagel in Hoboken (I know, I know) for deli-meat sandwiches and inventive breakfast sandwiches, and Bagel Boss for lox and cream cheese bagels (they’re one of the few remaining actually-kosher bagel shops). 

Trader Joe’s Butternut Squash Mac & Cheese Hits Harder Than You’d Think 

I used to subsist almost entirely on Trader Joe’s frozen food. So much so, that years ago I asked my friend, Rachel, what my signature dish was, and she said fried rice. That fried rice came in a bag from Trader Joe’s, I just added fried egg and soy sauce. While I’ve come a long way since then, it’s never a bad thing to go back to your roots, and one frozen item I always stock up on when it comes back for the season is the butternut squash mac & cheese. Somehow, it has a smooth, emulsified cheese sauce with flecks of sage that make it taste like fall. I like to add a little salt and fresh cracked pepper after mixing and it’s simply perfect. 

You Ask, I Answer

Q: “Mom's birthday coming up.... gift/experience ideas????”

A: Happy birthday 2 ur mom!!! I certainly have some ideas, but I’d also advise you to make a list of all the things your mom likes, and refer back to it as you think about what to give her. Doesn’t matter how big or small—if I were making a list for my mom, I’d include: Gardening, birdwatching, Below Deck, gossiping with her nail tech, local honey, and petting zoos. And for next year, keep a running note on anything she mentions in passing so you have a list of ideas ready to go. 

A Meet & Greet at Your Local Zoo 

For Mother’s Day this past year, we all chipped in and went on a family trip to the Bronx Zoo to do a close-up encounter with giraffes. My mom loves giraffes, and has mentioned more than once that it’s her dream to stay at that hotel in Africa where your rooms open up into a giraffe pen. She was also fixated for a long time on this DirecTV commercial featuring an animated mini giraffe, lamenting multiple times that she wished mini giraffes were real. Anyway, the Bronx Zoo also offers “wild encounters” with cheetahs, rhinos, penguins, and reptiles too. 

A Specialty Item to Make Cooking Easier / More Enjoyable 

If your mom is like my mom or my mother-in-law, she loves to cook for the people she loves. Some kitchen/cooking gifts we’ve gotten for them both throughout the years include: A set of Global knives (a chef’s knife and a paring knife) so my mom could toss all her less-than knives, a saucier pan my MIL really wanted specifically to make risotto in, a hefty wooden cutting board my mom now loves using, and a Zojirushi rice cooker so my MIL can make perfect rice every time. 

When All Else Fails, Get Her a Spa Day (Bonus Points if You Go With Her)

Also from the recent mom gift archives, we got my MIL a day pass to Sojo spa in Weehawken, which has glorious heated pools that overlook the Manhattan skyline, a Korean cafeteria, and plenty of spa services to add on. She went with her friends and sent us pics, and it looked like she had the best time. Passes/services at these kinds of spas are much more exciting than say, a gift card to Hand & Stone, and I’m sure she’d love it even more if you dedicated a day to going with her. Other experiential spas I’ve heard great things about: Aire ancient baths in Soho, QC NY Spa on Governer’s Island, and Shibui Spa at the Greenwich Hotel. 

Need a gift suggestion for your mother-in-law’s birthday? Stuck on how to rearrange the furniture in your living room? Want to know what to do with a jar of marinated artichokes? Come to mama. Hit me up with your questions, and I'll answer them in an upcoming letter.