Big stuff is happening over here! As in: We painted the bedroom blurrrrr.

In the end, I decided on Mount Saint Anne by Benjamin Moore, and I really love how much it’s brightened the room up. I haven’t put anything back up on the walls yet because I want to start over with a clean-ish slate, and I’m working on exercising patience that I don’t think I actually possess. It’s worth a shot, though!

We also went to try on wedding bands at Love Locked, the jeweler around the block from us where Jeffery got my engagement ring! If you’re in the area, I highly recommend going to Kerry (the owner), just shoot her a DM. Jeffery gave her a budget, told her my stipulations (I wanted a yellow gold band, emerald cut diamond, and side stones), and she guided him through the rest of the process to pick out my lil bezeled art deco girl with salt and pepper diamonds on the sides. I thiiiiiink I know what kind of band I want, but I’m going to rewatch the videos over and over for the next few months until I reach a decision.

On My Brain

Bachelorette Parties Have Absolutely Lost the Plot

She writes, as she’s planning a trip to Mexico with her closest friends. But I’m like, a cool bride, okay? And all my friends are friends with each other, and I’ve received plentiful and passionate feedback that they are, in fact, down for an international romp. Is it still insane to round them up for a trip they wouldn’t otherwise be going on? Kinda, yeah.

I am quite lucky to have very reasonable, normal friends with reasonable, normal expectations surrounding their nuptials, and I’m more than happy to celebrate with them. But the horror stories I’ve heard from others in the past few years are dizzying with their level of delusion.

I could truly go on forever about this, but for now, here are some things at (hetero) bachelorette parties that I think should be outlawed:

• Temporary tattoos of the groom’s face… sorry to ur man.

• Lack of communication around budget before decisions are made.

• Theme days/nights that require completely new wardrobes.

• Any language that references “last” anything. Sorry—are our lives meant to end when we become our husbands’ chattel?

• Forcing your friends to wear anything they’re even slightly uncomfortable in.

• Penis stuff. Blech.

• Keeping tabs on what people order at dinners and charging accordingly. Let’s be adults and just split the bill!

In My Cart

A Wicker Dog Bed Ozzie Would Look Sooooo Cute In

We went to IKEA this past weekend mostly because I needed my bi-monthly IKEA fix, but I was also on the hunt for oversized pillow inserts and perhaps a headboard. I usually end up leaving the store fixated on something I’ll eventually go back and buy, and this time it was a little wicker daybed for Oswald?? That I can custom make a little cushion for? It’s soooo cute, but for $90 it didn’t feel like a worthwhile gamble, because there’s always a small chance he’ll decide to tear it up. I’ll keep mulling it over, though, and probably end up going back for it.

I Finally Found My Fall Sneakers

…and they’re not Sambas! No Sambas, shade, really because I have ‘em, I love ‘em, and I’ll keep wearin’ ‘em, but I wanted a pair of walking-around-town sneakers that are just a teeeeensy bit different. As I mentioned in my fall clothes issue, I had multiple pairs of Onitsuka Tigers in my cart, but ended up getting a targeted ad for these Adidas Predators that are actually branded for the Mexico soccer team? Not me being team Mexico’s biggest fan. (Really I just liked the hunter green stripes and burgundy laces.) So I got them, and I’m so far very happy with them. They’re also currently on sale for only $65??

In My Belly

A Very Easy (Very Delicious) Tomato Soup Recipe

Don’t ever let me catch you eating tomato soup from a can. Not when you can make it from scratch in under an hour, and it’s infinitely better than anything Campbell’s is slinging. My go-to tomato soup is an eye-balled version of Carolina Gelen’s tomato soup recipe, and I usually sub vegetable broth with chicken broth because that’s what I readily have avail. I like to get the tomatoes and onions really nice and charred, and I always serve it with grilled cheese for dunking and a kosher dill pickle to cut through all the richness. It is perfect <3.

A 24 Hour Pork Dish I Will Likely Not Make Again

As soon as I got full access to the NYT Cooking catalog, I went on a bookmarking TEAR, saving everything that looked good and filing recipes into folders for dinners, desserts, sides, etc. One such recipe is Momofuku’s bo ssam, which receives absolutely effusive reviews. Now, I do think David Chang is a little big for his britches (like, he is really suing people for making chile crisp that competes with his? O K, David.), but I have always enjoyed his food, and I was down for a long game dinner project. Plus, I also love bo ssam! Sadly, I think I made some errors that rendered the final result kind of meh, and I’m a little sad that I basted this pork butt for 5 hours only for it to be sort of lackluster.

First, the recipe calls for 8–10 lbs of pork butt, and I was like well… we do not need that much pork butt, so I got 1.5 lbs. Unforch, the smaller cut definitely yielded a drier interior. I also rinsed the salt and sugar brine off before putting it in the oven, because it seemed like a lot of salt and sugar, but in the end, the pork was under seasoned. If I were to do it again, I’d follow the recipe exactly, and you know what? That’s my fault! Live & learn. (And FWIW I was told that it was actually quite good and I was being overly critical, so idk).

You Ask, I Answer

Q: “I am a Poshmark shopping/buying expert but am woefully unsuccessful when it comes to selling. Please advise! I crave that sweet serotonin!”

A: Teehee! How did you know I love Poshmark??? Did I bring it up 80 times already??? And guess what? You came to the right place, because I sold so much of my old shit on Poshmark last year that they told me I had to declare the earnings on my taxes l o l. Let’s get into it:

Get Good Photos — But Act Like a Person

You want your photos to be clear, ideally naturally lit, and show any imperfections on the item. If it’s something you can still find online (do a quick Google, you’ll be surprised by how many retailer photos are kicking around!), upload those professional photos too. I always iron or steam clothing I’m selling (annoying, I know, but it’s worth it) and get a few different angles: back, front, hanging up, folded, etc. I also like to take photos of the fabric composition and care tags, because I always look for that info myself! All that said, there’s lots of spammy resellers on Poshmark I avoid, and I always look for sellers that just seem like regular people selling their stuff. So strike a balance between professional and human, yanno?

Price to Sell & Accept Reasonable Offers

Listen, I know you probably want to get your money back on something you don’t wear, but that’s usually not realistic. I use my discretion when choosing a price (I do take Poshmark’s suggestion into account), and just think about what I would reasonably pay for an item. Look around for how similar items are priced, and price yours in that ballpark. I usually price things slightly higher than what I’d actually let them go for so there’s wiggle room for offers, and I will often write “make an offer!” on things I really want to get out of my closet. If someone makes me an offer up to 20% off what I have an item listed at, I’ll usually accept it, because that’s easy money in my Poshmark balance and one less thing taking up space in my closet.

Stay Active On Poshmark in General

I don’t necessarily agree with it, but the Poshmark algorithm seems to reward sellers who are actively shopping and engaging with other listings. I somehow have almost 2,000 followers on Poshmark and I haven’t done much other than list my stuff and order things. I like listings I want to save for later, reshare my own listings to hopefully get more views, and semi-frequently send offers to likers to see if anyone will bite. If something has been listed for months and isn’t getting any traction, sometimes I’ll delete and relist, or at least lower the price. Also, it’s kind of annoying, but definitely try and stay on top of responding to questions from people interested in buying your stuff!

Need a gift suggestion for your mother-in-law’s birthday? Stuck on how to rearrange the furniture in your living room? Want to know what to do with a jar of marinated artichokes? Come to mama. Hit me up with your questions, and I'll answer them in an upcoming letter.